Thursday, August 25, 2011

Dark Thoughts

The year: either 1973 or 1974. The time: between 1.00am/2.00am. The place: my bed-sit in Rathmines, Dublin. I was sitting on the side of my bed totally frustrated at not being able to get the words out of my head onto my notepad (the old journalist style spiral variety!). I wanted to scream out my fragmented thoughts to anyone who would listen but in that dark hour which is neither night nor day my anguish would have fallen upon sleeping ears. So it was I wrote these words:-




Dark Thoughts

Everything seems so strange.
I am trying to write exactly what I feel but seem only able to describe it in my mind.
When I try to write it down it all becomes meaningless.
It's no longer a feeling, just letters forming words in a sentence.
It's like living in a fantasy or dream world,
Everything is just what I want it to be because I make it that way.
I create my thoughts and live them within myself.
This to me IS my real world.
I see things only as they are through the sleeping eyes of fantasy,
Then abruptly the hand of reality shakes me awake.
I'm frightened.
I am forced to emerge screaming from the warm womb-like sanctuary I've created deep within my imagination.
Outside, a violent world is waiting.

© Ann Brien 2011


Above writer's block image via: www.ownbeat.co.uk

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6 comments:

  1. Oh, I've felt exactly the same way! It's an occupational hazard of being a writer, I guess. Thanks for posting this!

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  2. Thank you so much Jan for your comment. Yes indeed, it is the curse of many writers, nearly forty years on nothing much has changed for me! Take care.

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  3. It happens to everyone. But you have written something! Thanks for sharing. :)

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  4. Thank you Balqis as always for your comment. I suppose it is reassuring knowing that you're not the only one searching for the words! It used to drive me crazy but now I just wait...and wait! lol! Have a lovely weekend. Cheers

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  5. Thanks for the great comment. It's the kind of remark that makes me want to finish my memoir and make a real effort to get it published.

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  6. You are very welcome Aiza. Keep writing, I wish you every success with having your memoir published. Take care and Cheers!

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